Стихи

Кайтан

Прошу прощения за создание новой темы, но подобного не нашла и мучаюсь в сомнениях.

Стихи. Я совершенно не понимаю, что с ними делать. Причем черт бы с переложением на русский язык с сохранением и смысла, и рифм, но что делать с игрой слов?
Например, совсем недавно просматривала диалоги персонажей из спеллхолдовского Mod for the Wicked (он еще делается, но два непися готовы к установке и просто потрясающи). И один из персонажей, бард, частенько поет песенки про остальных компаньонов. Все бы хорошо, но вдруг, в песне Минску, он поет... *роется в папках-файлах*
@27 = ~They will kill you when you are vile
Against this helps no smile
No song, no compliment
These heroes shall not bend
The greatest of heroes they are called
Strong, smart, and bald~
@28 = ~Strong, smart and bold...~
@29 = ~Bald indeed!~
И вот что делать с bald-bold? Как можно сохранить эту игру слов, сохранив и рифму?
Эх.

Skaramush

Кайтан

This is my song
I swear it won’t take long
It is about heroes from afar
Boo and Minsc are who they are
Boo the brains and Minsc the muscle
All the day, they hustle
To reach new combat ground
Where new evil can be found.
They will kill you when you are vile
Against this helps no smile
No song, no compliment
These heroes shall not bend
The greatest of heroes they are called
Strong, smart, and bald!

Говорили мне, что можно провести параллель с биты-бриты, но как-то оно не совсем так звучит.

также, последнее в предыдущем посте - кусок диалога, Минск говорит, что "сильные, умные и храбрые, ох йех!", а бард радостно отвечает, что-таки лысые.

Accolon

лыс -- лих

@27 = ~They will kill you when you are vile
Against this helps no smile
No song, no compliment
These heroes shall not bend
The greatest of heroes they are called
Strong, smart, and bald~
@27 = ~Коль зол, так изведут тебя,
Но и помогут, не кривясь в насмешке,
И не за оду или похвалу.
Несокрушимыми они пребудут,
Героев славных так величия поют:
Могуч и мудр, и отважно лыс.~

@28 = ~Strong, smart and bold...~
@28 = ~Могуч и мудр, и отважно лих...~

p.s. В оригинале bald/ bold применимо и к Минску и к Бу.

)

Skaramush

Austin

У меня тоже есть непереведенные стихи из мода Romantic Encounters, где есть певица и арфистка Шейри Дэ'Эвигнон. Может, кто-нибудь поможет осилить ее песни?
Половина уже переведена Fess, но остались еще вот эти стихи:

@47 = ~A gypsy rover came over the hill
Down through the valley so shady.
He whistled and he sang 'til the green woods rang
And he won the heart of a lady.~
@48 = ~Ah-dee-doo-ah-dee-doo-dah-day
Ah-dee-doo-ah-dee-day-dee
He whistled and he sang 'til the green woods rang
And he won the heart of a lady...~
@49 = ~She left her father's castle gate.
She left her own fine lover.
She left her servants and her estate
To follow her gypsy rover.~
@50 = ~She left behind her velvet gown
And shoes of finest leather
They whistled and they sang 'till the green woods rang
As they rode off together.~
@51 = ~Last night, she slept on a goose feather bed
With silken sheets for cover
Tonight she'll sleep on the cold, cold ground
Beside her gypsy lover.~
@52 = ~Her father saddled up his fastest steed
And roamed the valley all over.
Sought his daughter at great speed
And the whistlin' gypsy rover.~
@53 = ~He came at last to a mansion fine
Down by the river Claydee.
And there was music and there was wine
For the gypsy and his lady.~
@54 = ~Have you forsaken your house and home?
Have you forsaken your baby?
Have you forsaken your husband dear
For a whistling gypsy rover?~
@55 = ~He is no gypsy, my Father, she cried
But Lord of these lands all over.
And I shall stay 'til my dying day
With my whistlin' gypsy rover.~

@62 = ~When I apprenticed in Waterdeep, I went to see my dear
The candles all were burning, the moon shone bright and clear
I knocked upon her window to ease her of her pain
She rose up to let me in, then she barred the door again.~
@63 = ~I like well your behavior and this I often say
I cannot rest contented when I am far away
The roads they are so muddy, we cannot walk about
So roll me in your arms, Love, and blow the candles out.~
@64 = ~Your father and your mother in yonder room do lie
A-hugging one another, so why not you and I?
A-hugging one another, without a fear or doubt
So roll me in your arms, Love, and blow the candles out.~
@65 = ~I pray thee speak more softly of what we have to do
Lest that our noise of talking should make our pleasure rue
The streets they are so nigh, Love, the people walk about
They may peep in and spy, Love, so blow the candles out.~
@66 = ~And if we prove successful, Love, please name it after me
Treat it neat and kiss it sweet and daft it on your knee
When my four years are over, my time it will be out
And I will pay my debt to you by blowing the candles out.~

@67 = ~Two maidens went milking one day
Two maidens went milking one day
And the wind it did blow high
And the wind it did blow low
And it tossed their pails to and fro, la, la, la
And it tossed their pails to and fro.~
@68 = ~They met with a man they did know...
And they said, "Have you the will?"
And they said, "Have you the skill
For to catch us a small bird or two..."~
@69 = ~"Oh yes, I have an excellent good skill...
If you will come along with me
Under yonder flowering tree
I might catch you a small bird or two..."~
@70 = ~So they went and they sat 'neath a tree
And the birds flew round about
Pretty birds flew round about
And he caught them by one and by two.~
@71 = ~Now my boys, let us drink down the sun
Now my boys, let us drink down the moon
Take your lady to the wood
If you really think you should
You might catch her a small bird or two.~
@72 = ~Come listen a while and I'll sing you a song
Of three merry gentlemen riding along,
They met with Sweet Joan and to her did say
I'm afraid this cold morning will do you some harm.~
@73 = ~O no, kind sir, the maiden said
This cold morning will do me no harm.
There's one thing I crave lies betwixt your legs
If you give me that it will keep me warm.~
@74 = ~He got off his horse - she mounted it quick
Looking the gentleman hard in the face,
Says, "You knew not my meaning, you wrong understand me"
And away she went galloping down the green lane!~

@76 = ~Completely square was the velvet box
He said my ring would be in
Completely square was the envelope
He said farewell to me in!
Completely square is the handkerchief
I flourish constantly
As it dries my eyes of the tears I shed
And it blows my nose till it turns bright red!
For a perfect square is my true love's head!
He will not marry me!
No, he will not marry me!~
@77 = ~Rectangular was the old inn door
My true love tried to sneak thru
Rectangular was the window there
By which I had to peek thru
Rectangular was the hotel room
I entered angrily
And rectangular is the wooden box
Where lies my love of the golden locks
They say he died of the chicken-pox...
In part I must agree:
One chick too many had he!~
@78 = ~Triangular is the piece of pie
I eat to ease my sorrow
Triangular is the hatchet blade
I plan to hide tomorrow!
Triangular the relationship
That now has ceased to be,
And triangular is the garment thin
That fastens on with a safety pin
To a prize I had no wish to win!
It's a lasting memory
That my true love gave to me!~

Skaramush

Austin
Опиши ситуацию, когда эти песни исполняются.
Еще надо знать как что произносится - интонации, эмоции героев.

Austin

Skaramush

Попробую перевести, но как скоро получится не знаю.

Austin

Skaramush
Был бы очень благодарен, а то у меня совершенно не получаются переводы стихов... А насчет сроков - основной перевод тоже небыстро идет, потому что я почти в одиночку перевожу, а объем текста там огроменный, целая книга. Третий год работаю. Но рано или поздно я его закончу. Если жив буду, конечно.

AERIE Team

Стихи

Кто сейчас на конференции